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Watch This: Darth Vader is a Smartass



Even though this clip is a little older and has been watched by over four million people, I'm sure there are some who've never seen it. Thus, this is for those people -- the unforgotten, the kids who've always lived their lives slightly behind the ball. Yes, you. Or you. Or him. Or her. Or me. Indeed, I'm just watching this for the first time as well. There's just something about the thought of Darth Vader pulling a stunt like this that just cracks me the hell up. But lets not throw too much love at this clip because, hey, 10 years from now George Lucas might want to remake the original Star Wars films and throw a scene like this in ... to lighten it all up. See, Vader's not that evil -- he's just a dick. Enjoy.

Review: Star Wars: The Clone Wars



If Star Wars: The Clone Wars were a simple board game stacked up in a toy store aisle, the side of the box would read: "Ages 7 through Check Your Star Wars Ego at the Door." While the recent onslaught of superhero movies have brought us darker, more complex (and adult) storylines, one of our most beloved franchises has decided to travel in the opposite direction. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing; it's actually somewhat comforting to find a film with the word 'Wars' mentioned twice in the title alone and know that it's suitable for all ages. When I first watched a Star Wars film on the big screen, my feet could barely touch the sticky theater floor -- and so if a fun-filled, action-packed animated adventure story helps usher in a whole new legion of fans -- subsequently turning younger kids on to three live-action movies that came out, like, a billion years ago -- then right friggin' on!

Almost immediately we're clued into the fact that this big-screen Star Wars flick was gift-wrapped by another department store. That classic, drum-hoppin' 20th Century Fox intro is replaced with a much more subdued Warner Bros. logo, and the film's title swings into frame accompanied by different music. In replace of the classic story scroll, we get a newsreel-esque voiceover bringing us up to date on the main characters and their current mission. No one's trying to trick us here -- this is Star Wars for the need-it-now generation, and whereas previous films seemed to spend too much time rolling around in political-speak, Clone Wars is all about the action, the battles and the cheesy one-liners.

Continue reading Review: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

George Lucas Talks 'Indiana Jones V'

Less than three months ago, Eugene told us George Lucas was hinting that his Indiana Jones franchise might continue on with Mutt Williams (Shia LaBeouf) as the main character and that Indy (Harrison Ford) would be more of a secondary figure. But MTV Movies Blog now reports that Lucas has had a change of mind and instead plans to make a fifth installment with our beloved hero still in the lead. During promotions for the new Star Wars: Clone Wars movie, he apparently stated that, "Indiana Jones is Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones. If it was Mutt Williams it would be 'Mutt Williams and the Search for Elvis' or something."

Could it be, as MTV suggests, that due to fans' dissatisfaction with Mutt and/or due to LaBeouf's problems with the law that Lucas no longer sees the character as a viable investment? Or did he merely come to his senses about how much more money the movie would make with Ford starring? Lucas says that "Indy 5" is still only an idea but that people are researching possible artifacts to base the movie around. Personally, I don't care what kind of MacGuffin is used, so long as the Nazis are the villains again. The commies in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull just didn't do it for me. I know the temporal setting can't be WWII anymore, but Indy could always head back into South America and battle the Nazis who escaped to Argentina and Brazil and elsewhere.

Godiva Releases 'Twilight' Chocolate Bar

As both a cinephile and a candy freak, I get excited anytime there's a new movie-themed confection (as you can see from this Cinematical Seven from last Halloween). While some tie-ins are less tasty than others -- it's no wonder that the movie theater I worked at had trouble pushing Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans at the concession stand -- everything is worth sampling. And from time to time, some candies, such as the Star Wars prequel-inspired dark chocolate M&Ms and this summer's Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull-themed Snickers Adventures Bar, end up being far better than the movie they're helping to market.

Being apparently one of the few people who has no interest in Twilight whatsoever, I'm sure to feel the same way about a new tie-in from Godiva, which MTV Movies Blog excitedly spotlighted this morning. It's actually more related to the books, as its packaging features the cover of the first book in Stephanie Meyers' popular series. And Barnes and Noble will begin selling them tomorrow in connection with this weekend's release of the fourth book of the Twilight Saga, "Breaking Dawn." However, you could certainly stock up now (they're probably a limited edition item), so that you can sneak one into the cinema each of those hundreds of times you'll be sitting through Twilight the movie this December. Or maybe a smart theater chain will sell them at their concession stand, to avoid having fans smuggle in contraband candy (if you know me well, you know I don't like to encourage sneaking snacks). Keep in mind, though, that there's nothing entirely special about this bar, except that it has a special Twilight-themed sleeve. Otherwise it's just simply Godiva's boring (yet delicious) old milk chocolate bar.

Video of the Day: Indy Shot First!



Fans of Raiders of the Lost Ark might want to look away right now as what you're about to watch could cause serious damage to your soul. A brief snippet from the upcoming Raiders of the Lost Ark Special Edition DVD has leaked online and, in it, there seems to be a little update from George Lucas. I kinda like the small touches added and think fans will get used to them after awhile. Yup, don't worry ... they'll just blend into the background. I mean, really, who cares about this old flick anyway? It's so ... 1981-ish. That said, I'm sure folks are already in the process of creating an "Indy Shot First" t-shirt. Check it out up top, then let us know what you think? Should we start a petition? Has Lucas lost his mind? And how could Spielberg agree to something like this? Sound off ...

[Thanks Matthew]

George Lucas Testifies in Washington D.C. -- Yes, Really!

This isn't exactly film news, but it was too odd not to share with Cinematical. I honestly thought it had originated at The Onion, and not with the AP!

On Tuesday, George Lucas testified before the House subcommittee on telecommunications and the Internet. His intentions were really very admirable, as he was arguing in favor of reforming the universal service fund, which provides Internet and telephone access in rural, low-income, and high cost areas of the country. Lucas is passionate about education reform, and he testified in favor of making Internet access "a digital civil right," that is free to schools and libraries.

While his intentions were good, the saga of Lucas and the subcommittee quickly became downright goofy. Several lawmakers took advantage of Lucas' appearance to crack Star Wars jokes. Rep. Mike Doyle declared "The universal service fund needs to be blown up like the Death Star," while Rep. Lee Terry compared himself and fellow Representative Rick Boucher to Luke Skywalker, and their opponents to Darth Vader. Our tax dollars at work, people.

Continue reading George Lucas Testifies in Washington D.C. -- Yes, Really!

George Lucas NOT Directing 'Red Tails'

Just to clear up, George Lucas is not directing his first non-Star Wars movie in 35 years. I repeat, George Lucas is not returning to the director's chair. Once again ... never mind, I think you've got it.

Two days ago there was an AP story about Lucasfilm's Tuskegee Airmen film, Red Tails -- perhaps you caught my post -- but it didn't note what Lucas' involvement would be. As I wrote, the article seemed to assume that he was directing the project. A number of sites around the web also treated the news (more like an update) as if it claimed that Lucas was indeed helming the WWII-set picture. Others speculated that he was taking the reigns. Well, he's not. He's merely serving as executive producer. There is no director signed on yet.

Continue reading George Lucas NOT Directing 'Red Tails'

Paramount Boasts Billion Dollar B.O. Overseas

Over the weekend, Paramount Pictures International went over the $1 billion mark, reportedly thanks to the success of its distribution of summer blockbusters Iron Man ($210 million), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ($350 million) and Kung Fu Panda ($41 million), as well as earlier releases The Spiderwick Chronicles ($91 million), Cloverfield ($90 million) and No Country for Old Men ($86 million). Paramount is the first studio to reach a billion bucks in international grosses this year, and it did so faster than in 2007, when it didn't top the figure until late July.

But is it really fair for Paramount to be bragging so much? On her Variety blog, Anne Thompson weighs in on the news, pointing out that all three of the studio's summer blockbusters were produced outside the main studio. Indiana Jones was Lucasfilm; Iron Man was Marvel; Panda was DreamWorks Animation. Of course, Paramount deserves a lot of credit for the marketing of these films, but Thompson wonders what it will be like if DreamWorks really does break away soon. Fortunately it has a good looking slate for the next few years, thanks to next year's toy-based titles Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and G.I. Joe, and then the next four or five Marvel Studios releases in 2010 and 2011.

Continue reading Paramount Boasts Billion Dollar B.O. Overseas

George Lucas' WWII Movie Moves Forward

Late August was the last time we mentioned George Lucas' Red Tails, but considering the Star Wars director has been wanting to make the film for decades, less than a year between reports is not too bad. Plus, the new AP story about the film's preproduction couldn't come at a better time. People are currently talking about Spike Lee's upcoming African Americans in WWII film, Miracle of St. Anna, and Red Tails also focuses on blacks fighting in the war. Specifically it deals with the 332nd Fighter Group of the U.S. Army Air Corp., otherwise known as the Tuskegee Airmen, the first all-black unit of pilots, bombardiers and navigators.

The AP story mostly features quotes from Tuskegee vets, who share their memories and their hopes for what the film will show. But there's also some minor updates courtesy of producer Rick McCallum, who's reportedly now scouting locations in the Czech Republic and Italy. He says that Lucas is hoping to begin shooting later this year or early 2009 and that the script by John Ridley (Three Kings) "balances difficult and painful issues with what is, at its heart, the story of men with a dream to fly and serve their country." So, apparently the script is finished, yet it's still unclear who will be directing Red Tails; the AP story almost seems to assume that Lucas will be holding the reigns himself.

Top 10 Highest-Valued Star Wars Toys

Happy birthday Star Wars toys! 30 years ago, you came into our lives, and 30 years later, we're all kicking ourselves for not hoarding you away, keeping you in pristine condition and eventually getting rich by selling you to the highest bidder. Fortunately, there are more of you being made today and the London Times has declared which of you recently released, still-cheap items are likely to go up in value.

The spotlight is part of a list featured in today's Money Central section of the Times. Titled "The top 10 Star Wars collectibles," the list includes 30-year-old, super-rare action figures like Kenner's Darth Vader with double-telescoping light saber (currently valued at £5,000-plus, or almost $10,000 US) and this year's Lego version of the X-WIng Fighter (currently sold for £150, or $293 US). Coming in at #10 are the two-year old, "too cute" Galactic Heroes line of figures from Hasbro, which are currently only "the price of a rip-off sandwich" (£3, or $5.86 US).

Speaking of "too cute", I'm personally going for the plush SD Darth Vader (pictured) that the Times lists at #9. But I actually haven't learned anything from the past 30 years and so I'm going to actually play with it. Or use it as a stress reliever whenever I see articles telling us to invest in action figures. See, I believe toys are for playing with, comic books are for reading and collectibles made solely to be collectibles are a waste of space.

For images of all the toys listed in the Times article, check out the gallery below. I also included the unmentioned Galactic Heroes Darth Vader Unmasked toy, because it fits with the criticism that these toys are "too cute." What person who'd seen Jedi as a kid would have ever expected a cute version of the unmasked Vader/Anakin?



[via Fark.com]

The Geek Beat: The Forgotten Sequel to 'Willow.'



This week's column is about George Lucas, a long absent figure in the Geek Beat. If you find your blood pressure easily raised by even the slightest mention of his name, then skip reading this week. However, be assured that I'm not going to trot out any of the old Lucas clichés; tell you he raped my childhood, or bring up that cringe-worthy site that analyzes his neck size. But I am going to examine one of his lesser known sins: the 1996 sequel to Willow.

Thankfully, it was consigned only to bookshelves and not foisted on an unsuspecting movie audience. If you've never heard of it, be glad. And you're not alone, as it seems to have come and gone under the radar for most geeks. Which is a shame; it could have warned us that trouble was ahead -- like Lenin's letter warning against Stalin, or the iceberg warnings sent to the Titanic.

Ah, Willow. I didn't see it on its initial release, but rediscovered it as a pre-teen. I was enchanted by it in those days, when I was all about dragons, crystals, swords and the Renaissance Faire. (I've matured in my medieval tastes, though I still admire a well-made sword from time to time. I still have one hanging on my wall, actually.) Though I had read The Hobbit, I had not yet tackled Lord of the Rings, and so Willow struck me as relatively original. Now, of course, I realize it's a blatant rip-off of Tolkien ... but oh, the folly of youth. Plus, Val Kilmer was really handsome in the flick.

Continue reading The Geek Beat: The Forgotten Sequel to 'Willow.'

George Lucas' Daughter Can Kick Your Ass

Before you continue bad mouthing George Lucas for what he's done to your childhood, first with the Star Wars prequels and now with the disappointing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, you might want to worry that he'll send his daughter after you. Wait, what? Yeah, that's George's daughter, Amanda "Powerhouse" Lucas, in the image on the right. She's a member of an American all-female MMA (mixed martial arts) fight team, and she's seen here duking it out with a Kiwi kickboxer during a recent Auckland, New Zealand-set event titled Princesses of Pain. And according to Stuff.co.nz, footage of the bout may be featured in a planned reality series about the formation of a women's international fighting league as well as on the news program 20/20.

27-year-old "Powerhouse" Lucas appeared in all three of her father's Star Wars prequels, portraying the dancer "Diva Funquita" in The Phantom Menace, "Adnama, patron of the Outlander Club" in Attack of the Clones and "Senator Terr Taneel" in Revenge of the Sith. She also voiced a separate character in The Phantom Menace, Neimoidian communications officer "Tey How" (she was credited under the pseudonym Tyger). Outside of the Star Wars films, she's worked as a hip-hop teacher and has spent years training in multiple martial arts, including kickboxing, Muay Thai and Brazilian ju-jitsu. According to New Zealand's TV3, Lucas lost her debut bout, but she did win a medal for "gutsiest fighter," and according to the Princesses of Pain website, the whole match ended in a tie between Team America and Team Australasia, each winning 3 bouts.

Inconvenient Measures to Combat 'Indiana Jones' Pirates



The nomadic DVD peddlers in Chinatown and other urban areas seem virtually unstoppable, but that hasn't kept Hollywood studios from launching various attempts to prevent movie piracy. Boing Boing reports on the rumor that at least one theater has been silencing the soundtrack in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull throughout the film in order to mess with potential bootleggers trying to record the thing. If true, it's got to be one of the most brain dead attempts at security since the rise of quart-sized bags. When you really get down to it, most two-bit criminals with camcorders in their laps don''t really care if the quality of the movie they're recording suffers, since the resulting product will already feature lo-fi video, the overlapping sounds of laughter and other audience reactions, and silhouetted cameos from patrons venturing to the concession stands or taking bathroom breaks. With all that, the intermittent exclusion of music doesn't sound like a major concern for the bad guys.

Studio anti-piracy measures are notoriously ill-conceived. Premieres and all-media screenings often force critics and even the filmmakers themselves to undergo intense evaluations before they're allowed to enter the theaters, while films open to the public, where pirates are more likely to show up, don't take any precautions. Granted, multiplexes wouldn't help their business if attending them felt like entering an airport terminal, but that doesn't mean there isn't a better way to prevent the crimes from taking place. Anyone care to offer some ideas?

[Via Movie City News]

Cinematical Seven: Things That, Thankfully, Didn't Happen in 'Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'.



Warning: This post does contain lots of Crystal Skull spoilers. Read at your own risk.

Whether you loved Kingdom of the Crystal Skull or hated it, dreaded its arrival or could barely sleep at night in anticipation, I think we can all agree there are some things that we're really glad didn't happen. With George Lucas' oft-quoted desire for "wackiness," and with his Star Wars prequels being rife with mythology rewrites and well, "wackiness," there was cause for concern. I'm one of the individuals who didn't care for the film, but upon leaving, I knew it could have been a lot worse. My friends, who varied between loving, liking, and hating, agreed -- there could have been so many horrible things. For example, the much-maligned monkeys and prairie dogs could have broken out in a spontaneous and extended dance number, and the aliens could have appeared as Indy's father. So, this Cinematical Seven is the result of our roundtable rantings -- and, as always, I am anxious to hear your own ...

Continue reading Cinematical Seven: Things That, Thankfully, Didn't Happen in 'Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'.

Memorial Day Poll: Should They Continue the Indiana Jones Franchise?



Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone! While I've been spending most of the weekend out at my imaginary mansion in The Hamptons, the rest of you were busy reserving just over two hours of your time for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We've already asked you what you thought of the film (and we'll be asking again later to catch up with those who saw it at the end of the weekend), so now it's time to jump ahead and ask ourselves whether we want this franchise to continue.

Both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg have said they'll continue making Indiana Jones films if the fans want them. Since Harrison Ford is getting up there in age, one imagines a fifth film would involve handing the franchise over to Shia LaBeouf, though we don't know that for sure. What say you? Is it time to retire Indy once and for all? Did this latest installment prove there's not much gas left in this tank? Or, did you absolutely love the film, wonder why it took so long for a fourth one to hit screens and immediately ponder a wonderful future with lots more Indiana Jones-related films?

Sound off ...

Do You Want More Indiana Jones?

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