Producer Gary Hamilton, mostly known for direct-to-video crap although he also produced the stellar Aussie horror film Wolf Creek, recently chatted with Page Six about his upcoming film Dare to Love Me, starring Lindsay Lohan, and apparently production on that film has been postponed at the zero hour before cameras were about to roll. "I'm not sure the movie is going to go immediately," he confessed to the gossip rag, while deflecting the obvious question about whether insuring star Lohan was the financial hurdle he couldn't get over. "There's no problem with Lindsay from our perspective," he said. "It's financing the film, which is a separate issue." I wouldn't necessarily take him at his word on that, since even at this stage of the game he couldn't afford to be perceived as slamming his star in the press and it makes too much sense to assume insurance companies balked at backing Lohan, who was spotted chugging champagne as recently as this past weekend.

On the other hand, one look at the movie's bio will make you think that no one would finance this thing if it had Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie attached. The seemingly ill-conceived period piece follows "tango legend Carlos Gardel" who falls in love with a prostitute and gets shot in the lung, but still "seduces crowds with his enchanting voice, bringing Tango music as a liberating voice to Europe." It's being directed by Alfonso Arau, the guy who hit us over the noggin with A Walk in the Clouds back in 1995, and was only recently released from director's jail for that crime. Stay tuned to Cinematical for the latest twists and turns in Lohan's career rollercoaster ride.

If you're going to be in Miami from January 5th to 8th, you might want to stop by the Art Miami Fair at the Miami Beach Convention Center and behold a new painting of the Virgin Mary -- actually, make that the Virgin Angelina. Artist Kate Kretz is presenting a new oil and acrylic painting on linen entitled "Blessed Art Thou." It presents Angelina Jolie and her three children as the Virgin Mary and offspring, hovering in heavenly repose over a typical American Wal-Mart with flags draped from the rafters and plus-sized shoppers obliviously gazing at the merchandise. A sickly green hue fills the air over the shoppers, one of whom seems to be staring in the general direction of a copy of Us Weekly, which is wedged in the magazine rack next to a "For Dummies" book. A frothy cloud cover forms a dividing line between the serene celebrity heaven above and the hell below.

In conjunction with the unveiling, Kretz has been keeping a blog on her website, detailing the step-by-step creation of the painting. The blog seems to be in the same "too much information" spirit as the painting itself, giving us an excess of detail about her artistic process. Here's a sampling: "hair and sash are not the only dark values, so the grouping is more unified against the clouds. I think the clouds have lost some impact, as the blue dress is stronger than the blue of the clouds...."

Mel Gibson wants you to know something: he's sick and tired of being called to account for his behavior. The Bird on a Wire star, turned director of flagellation epics like Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ, has given an interview to USA Today in which he opens up about his recent troubles and claims that his critics have not been treating him fairly. "I've apologized, done the right thing, now get the hell over it," he says. He also feels the public flogging he's undergone in the past six months -- which must be enjoyable to him on some level, right? -- has been "out of proportion." Gibson has been out promoting his latest opus, Apocalypto, but until now has chosen to only give interviews to television outlets and movie websites that would shamefully avoid quizzing him about that night in July when he was pulled off the Pacific Coast Highway and launched into a slobbering, drunken tirade against Jews.

Gibson also seems to feel that criticism of Apocalypto, which has done well at the box office and been rewarded with a Golden Globe nomination, is an attack on him personally. "To make it personal against me, that's a low blow," he opines, although its not clear which critic he's referring to. Having not seen Apocalypto yet, I can't comment one way or another on whether the criticism is fair, but it seems like the most prudent thing Gibson could do at this point is just pipe down. Unless he wants to offer a long-overdue apology for Lethal Weapon 4.

At long last, Angelina Jolie gave birth to a little girl this Saturday.  As Martha reported earlier, the baby's name is Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.  According to People magazine, Shiloh is a biblical name.  According to me, it is my favorite Neil Diamond song (yes, minus the "h" for all you ND sticklers).  This religious streak is getting a bit old.  The well of biblical names is bound to dry up sooner or later and then what will we be left with?  Magdalene Hilton?  Judas Simpson?  Lucifer Spears-Federline?  Seriously though, if they had to go biblical, they could have at least drummed up some publicity for Brad's new flick and called the baby, Babel.

Following the hot Hollywood trend to have simultaneous celebrity births, Gwen Stefani also became a new mother this weekend with the arrival of Kingston James McGregor Rossdale (or as I like to call him, the future Mr. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt).  Kingston is the first child for Gwen and her husband Gavin Rossdale and hopefully not the last.  At 36, Gwen better get cracking if she wants to finish off the Caribbean Collection - Santo Domingo and Port au Prince aren't going to birth themselves.

There is no denying the fact that Chad Lowe has single-handedly refuted the old adage Boys Don't Cry.  We've all seen him gleefully weeping throughout his wife's acceptance speeches, but this time around, the tears will not be of joy.  On Friday, Chad and Hilary Swank announced that they are ending their marriage of almost nine years.  I admire Lowe for being man enough (minus the water works) to play the role of Mr. Hilary Swank with such class and dignity.  I know he had a lot of life experience playing second fiddle to Mr. Rob Lowe, but all the same, they seemed to have given it their best shot.  Luckily the pair have no children, so now all they have to worry about is screwing up a couple of cats and some parrots. 

• Name: Bacon Cheesecake Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt
• Gender: Girl
• Birth City: Walvis Bay
• Looks: Reddish and squinty at the moment, but indications are she'll be jailbait by the time she hits 14.
• Price tag for first picture of the kid: Several freaking million (And if you weren't already worrying about the direction our society is going, it's officiall time to start.)

• Good news for all you guys waiting for your shot: Scarlett Johannson says she doesn't believe in monogamy. "I don't believe humans are monogamous creatures by nature", Johannson said while promoting the Woody Allen flick Match Point, in which she costars. Frat boys everywhere reportedly high-fived each other in agreement.
• Is Jonathon Rhys-Meyers secretly a girl? Johannson also says she would never date her Match Point costar, because he likes gossip and shoes and was "like a girlfriend on the set". Not the best image you want to project as a sexy leading man, perhaps.
• Tori Spelling is apparently really bored from all the lack of real work to focus on. Not only is she now engaged to actor Dean McDermott before the ink is dry on her divorce, but she's already planning a spring or summer wedding. Dang, Tori! You might want to think about maybe taking the time to get over one failed relationship, before launching another equally doomed one.
• Courtney Love stopped making payments on the house late husband Kurt Cobain's sister, Kim, was living in back in December, and now the house has been foreclosed on, having failed to sell at auction. Love could have saved the house by paying out some $386,000 owed on it, but it seems she didn't want to. Bet that whole situation made for some fun family holiday gatherings. It's not the first time Love has had financial issues - her New York condo was almost foreclosed on back in August and the condo board had some liens filed against her for unpaid charges. Question is, does Love not pay her bills because she doesn't want to, because she's too stoned to remember when to send checks in, or because she's just too damn lazy and/or cheap to hire and accountant to keep up with things for her?

• The internets are alive with the undeniable fact rumor that Leonardo DiCaprio and Lindsay Lohan (she's out of the hospital, by the way, but Leo might have visited her!) are a couple. Dare we hope? If this turns out to be true, I'm convinced that the tabloids will spontaneously combust from the gossip potential alone.
• I'm sure that, just like all the other really cool kids, you've already laid down your $190,000 for reservations on a Virgin Galactic trip to space. Seated by your side and you put your life in Richard Branson hands will reportedly be such cutting edge celebs as William Shatner (too...many...Trek...jokes), Moby and, yes, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I wonder if her kids will be his kids by that point. Why, maybe they could get some sort of bulk space discount!
  
• Speaking of Brad Pitt, he shaved! Good lord, the man looks about 20 years old. When was the last time we saw him without scruff of some kind, anyway? 1984?
• In today's breakup news, Hilary Swank and hubby Chad Lowe are separating after eight years together. Don't fret, though - they're going to try to work things out. I will control myself and not write anything snide here about her career outshining his, or her being able to utterly kick his ass. Instead, I'll just say that it's always sad to hear about the death of love. Sigh.
• Finally, it just came out that Steven Spielberg was totally pissed when Kathy Griffin made a funny about Dakota Fanning being in rehab. Sadly, his threat to put Griffin on a scary-sounding Dreamworks "list" did nothing but win him a brutal mocking. Well hey, Spielberg's new to the biz. Maybe someday he'll learn just how wild and crazy these comics can get.

Comedian and host to the stars David Letterman has been slapped with a restraining order by a New Mexico judge. Judge Daniel Sanchez signed an order preventing Dave from contacting, annoying, threatening, or harming a Sante Fe woman named Colleen Nestler who claims that "the television host has been secretly communicating with her for 12 years via code words, gestures and eye expressions." The good folks over at the Smoking Gun have a copy of her 7 page handwritten account, detailing how Letterman has secretly responded to her "thoughts of love," imploring her to move east. Apparently, he even offered a marriage proposal on his "Marry me Oprah" show. You guessed it, Oprah is one of Dave's many code nicknames for Colleen.

This has got to be my favorite celebrity story of the year. I urge you- nay, plead with you;go read the handwritten account. I promise it'll make you guffaw.  I can barely type through my tears of laughter.  If this woman reads thoughts from Letterman's gestures and facial expressions, I have to wonder what she'd think Conan O'Brien is trying to communicate to her. It'd have to be lewd.

• Chances appear to be good that the spawn of TomKat has a penis.
• Just like any self-respecting young lady, Jennifer Aniston won't let you publish pictures of her tits unless she's getting something in return.
• Has Adam Goldberg left Christina Ricci for a life full of coke, threesomes, and late 80s indie rock? Wouldn't you?
• According to A Socialite's Life, the above is a photo of Keanu Reeves, sleeping on the ground, whilst a woman nearby eats lunch. For some reason, I think that's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

• Jen Aniston sat in the passenger seat in awe as drunk boyfriend Vince Vaughn talked his way out of a DUI. They then hopped in a publicist's vehicle and discussed how they could play the scene more effectively next week on PCH.
• The Australian press insists that "wedding bells for Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are now ringing at fever pitch." Is it even possible for bells to do that?
• Colin Farrell's playmate ex is still trying to sell their sex tape. 2 to 1 he pays her to wait until *just before* the release of Miami Vice.
• Tara Reid apparently pumped her whole E! paycheck into her tits.

• Page Six confirms what we reported earlier in the week: Nick and Jessica never signed a prenup! In order to combat Nick's sticky fingers, the blonde one has hired a nasty divorce lawyer named Laura Wasser. Can't wait for the hearing!
• Joy Bryant claims her Ivy League education allowed her to go to Paris and never "wake up butt naked in a chateau wearing handcuffs, thinking, 'Why am I here — with a headache?!'" So how come Yale didn't steer her away from that terrible sex scene in Get Rich or Die Tryin'?
• Sometime-actor, full-time White Stripe Jack White is expecting a child with new-wife, model Karen Elson. Expect the child's name to have something to do with The Lady From Shanghai.
• John Belushi's widow is pissed off that she told all of his friends to talk to Bob Woodward. She's now directing them to a new biographer to tell all the same stories over again - plus new, nasty ones about a certain reporter with the initials of B. W.